I’d like to think of it as divine intervention. Whatever has kept me motivated to keep studying and working at the same time the past couple of months. Why am I saying that?
Let’s take a look at my microsystems for the past few weeks. I had given up my condominium unit near my work place in Ortigas Center simply because I couldn’t afford the monthly rent anymore. That means I have been forced to temporarily stay with my relatives in my aunt’s house which is a couple of hours away from my work place and I have to go through a hell of commuting almost every day to get to work. Over the past few weeks, I have not been doing well at work. I have racked up a huge pile of online debt. Almost every week, I have had debt collectors calling me up and asking for my loan payments. In between, I have had to stay motivated to do school work. I am thankful for very kind people in my microsystem. Who are those people? My siblings both based here in the Philippines and the United States. At my age, I have been hesitant in asking help from them. But what can I do? I have tried my best to earn or make money, to no avail. My siblings know that I have almost become bankrupt lately; and they have been helping me out one way or the other. Somebody’s helped me meet both ends.
Interestingly, I have been able to comply with my school requirements for the most part. I have been on the brink of depression, but I have been doing my school assignments!
What has kept me motivated? Is it the jazz music I play when I do school stuff? Does the music distract me from feeling blue over my financial situation? Do the intricate and creative melodies of the music inspire creativity in me too? Probably yes. Science has proved music to be motivating and therapeutic too. Let me quote some data from a recent research study on motivational music and soccer players:
” In recent years, music has been gaining increasing importance in the exercise and sports context [1]. Due to its ability to act as a stimulant and/or relaxant [2], this auditory stimulus can present several benefits. Firstly, listening to music can promote higher level of motivation, counteract the negative dimensions of mood (e.g., anxiety, depression, anger, tension) and further boost motor coordination [3]. Secondly, listening to music can reduce the perceived effort [4] and fatigue [5,6] in athletes. Thirdly, listening to music could optimize the period of consecutive recovery among physical efforts” (Belkir et al, 2019).
I am thankful for kind people, for jazz music, for God in my microsystem.
I get to eat for free almost every day too.
Looking at my situation right now, I guess I can ask myself what has become of me. I have been in the university since 2006 and up to now I haven’t finished my university work. Career-wise, I am not sure whether I have to keep or quit my sales job. Funny but while I’m writing these lines, I get a swinging, brassy and really happy tune from my jazz music background. Maybe I have to keep it going. Keep the music playing.
But it’s very important that I get to contemplate into what’s become of me. At 31, I am simply not financially stable. Yes, I have pursued what I have always wanted to pursue and that is jazz, but I haven’t really gotten the big break yet in the industry. I believe I am getting there.
For the sake of theorizing, I’d like to quote some scholarly material:
“According to Weiner, individuals are motivated to answer the questions: Why did I fail? Why did I succeed? Why didn’t I do better than I expected? In pursuit of answers, Weiner has proposed that individuals engage in an implicit analysis of the reason(s) for their performance outcomes” (Farenga et al, 2005).
Right now, I think my self-esteem, my self-worth has largely been compromised by being buried in debt, by being financially unstable, by being a bottom performer at work etc…
“Nicholls and Dweck have argued that the prime motivator of achievement behavior is the desire to demonstrate high ability, or at the least, avoid negative evaluations of ability. Similarly, Covington has proposed the more ego-defensive notion that individuals are motivated by the desire to maintain their sense of self-worth”(Farenga et al, 2005).
Fortunately, through prayer and meditation, I guess I survive each emotionally tiring day. I still have that desire to regain and maintain my self-worth in every possible way. In a previous post of mine, I have provided evidence for the power of meditation.
In fact, I am in school so that someday I may have a stable job where I can apply my musical knowledge too, at least in the field of education.
It’s been a hell of challenges that I’ve been through lately. Thank God, I have stayed motivated through the fire.
References:
“Contemporary Theories of Achievement Motivation.” Encyclopedia of Education and Human Development, edited by Stephen J. Farenga and Daniel Ness, vol. 2, M.E. Sharpe, 2005, pp. 433-443. Gale Ebooks, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/CX2652800135/GVRL?u=phupou&sid=GVRL&xid=4b4d0ca5. Accessed 7 Nov. 2019.
Belkhir, Y et aln 2005. Listening to neutral or self-selected motivational music during warm-up to improve short-term maximal performance in soccer players: Effect of time of day. Physiology & Behavior
Volume 204, 15 May 2019, Pages 168-173
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2019.02.033
Pharaway's EdPsych Blogs 